Posted by Karen May 10th, 2009 Filed under Family,Journal

Happy Mother’s Day MAMA!!

I grew up in a very stern family, i guess a mirror of how my mom was brought up with a strict spanish father (my grandfather). We don’t go as much showing emotions, you might see us like we don’t care about each other but inside we do. We’re not used to saying i love you’s…even though me and my mama haven’t had the best relationship over the years but she’s my mom, there’s no one like her and i love her sooo much. She’s my one and only mama in the world. Though I don’t say it everyday but I love you MAMA. I know i’m very hardheaded most of the times and so i’m sorry for it :(.

Anyway, I wanna share here what my mom wrote me before my graduation last year (2007). It was actually a surprise to us all graduating students by our School Instructor and Head of our College Department — Mr. Baldelovar. He appointed some non-graduating students (behind our backs Lol!) from our Department to collect and request a letter from the parents of all graduating students. I remember they handed us the letters the day before our graduation, it was after our last practice of the ALMA MATER song. We were outside the school’s gymnasium, I totally didn’t expect it, I was a bit shocked and was very touched. I got all mushy, teary-eyed as i was staring at the letter trying so hard to hold back the tears from falling while asking how they got it. I was excited to read the letter but when i actually opened and started reading even the first sentence i thought to myself that i can’t go on reading, i might be sobbing in front of my classmates so i just decided to fold it back and put it inside the envelope. Then when i finally got home, i read it alone and was crying the whole time i was reading it. See i felt that my mom hated me from those times we could not get along and argued. Me and my mom always had this love and hate relationship, there was those times i don’t understand her and i had resented her for the things that was happening in my life while i was growing up. I have so much hate in me, i felt so ugly, unwanted and bullied when i was young by my own brothers and sister. It made me even hateful hearing from my mom while she was talking to a friend about her experiences when she got married that she tried to abort me when she learned that she was pregnant with me, which i took as “she doesn’t want me”. But i understood now and i know that she has her own reasons at the time, one- being life is hard. I came to my senses as i grew up that i should be thankful that i am here. For that THANK YOU MAMA.

Here goes my mom’s letter:

Karen,

Break

In everything you achieve as you finish your study is the result of what you did. I know how to strive for and preserve excellence in all you do. In spite of the ups and downs you had to go through considereing your Father who passed away when you were a child, a father who truly cares and loves you. So from then we had to experiece a terrible lose of his presence and start believing that our life will suffer a miserable life. I appreciate your time, effort and hard work in your studies just to reach the dreams you hope for. There were many times you compare your life to other lives and felt discouraged, i tell you, you are wrong, you should feel to be the encouragement of other lives. You should be the strengthener of them because of what you had go through was not the hindrance of your big dreams you have today.

Break

God has no limit in dreams in your heart. Delight yourself in the things of God. If you make Jesus your delight then He will give the desires you have in your heart, joy fulfillment our dependency to Him.

Break

No matter how much weakness you think you have, you are special to God. You are beautiful, wonderful and uniquely made. Make the most of the opportunities to do good.

Content with trying to find a decent job, getting married and having a couple of children. So begin seeing yourself today as God sees you.

Break

Congratulations!

Break

Love,

Mama

Mama I’m so sorry for everything i did that hurt you. Thank you sooo much for the unconditional love and care you have for us and the sacrifices you have done for the family. I love you always.

Old Photos of my Mama

From left: My late Lola (Grandmother), my Aunt Alma, Mama and her classmate.

Mama with her volleyball team in High School

Me and mama at my graduation

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Happy Mother’s Day also to my Sister and Sis In-Law!!

My Sissy and Kisha

Jenet

I wanna dedicate these songs to my Mama, my sissy Aniel, Jenet (my sis-in-law), Seiko, Enjoy and to all the mothers in the whole wide world.

Spice Girls – Mama

Backstreet Boys – The Perfect Fan

Boys II Men – Song For Mama

Happy Mother’s Day To all mother’s!!

God Bless and Be Safe Ya’ll!