Unprotected

Posted by: Karen November 21st, 2005 Filed under: Journal

I hate myself for being too honest and open coz im always leaving myself out in the open and vulnerable…but then i keep myself at ease thinking that at least i was being honest rather than pretending…life is getting more complicated but then again who says it isn’t?

You give yourself to someone without having any guarantee of takin’ it back or them feeling the same as you do and it’s a scary feeling but some people take risks for love and i have, many times already…and it scares the shit out of me thinking that one day it could all go away but  that’s just life.

I hate that i’ve spilled too much of my feelings without knowing what or how deep someone feels about me…I hate feeling unprotected…but then i stand back and starts building walls again. To regain, to repossess myself again and whatever that’s left of me. And i’ve learned, starting to know myself better with how strong i can be. I can say that I’ve changed, i know people change and things change and i am still learning. It’s hard to trust people…i mean there’s no telling what people can do these days, you’ll just have to wake up one day and be surprised.

hmm..anyway i’m thankful to God for all the strength He gives me everyday…